We humans are fools! We give one family to be called kings and queens and pass on the privileges of kingdom generation to generation, and we talk about democracy and all that. And then it will be the royal wedding, two gorgeous people and we watch with tear in eyes, like it's the nicest fairy tail we've seen. I wonder how many other things we are so easily fooled by, every day because we're so shallow..

Two of my friends are having babies. One of them has already delivered her son, and the other is waiting. Once you see a friend of yours do this, you realize it's so real.. so natural... Me on the other hand: not married, not dating, nothing. getting older and older in the research lab... Kind of slowly, ever so slowly makes me think something must be wrong about me. I partially know my problem though. I never settle down. At least hasn't, so far. Always changing.. from one place to the next, from one social style to the next.. so many cases always come up right when I'm at this transition point, and they don't work out because I'm already moving on...looking back at myself I don't regret this growth. Sometimes it amazes me to see what I've left behind and thrown away, once I learned better.. The thought of staying as the person that I was before is unbearable sometimes.. so maybe it's all worth it? ... well what else can I say?

My new laptop arrived yesterday. Toshiba Portege, 3.2lbs, intell i5, 4GB memory.. 5 hours battery.. perfect!
The motivation is, I love outdoors and I have to work, so I needed a strong but portable machine. Now if only it stops raining so I can bring this baby outside and work while sitting on the campus yard under the sun :)
should be fun!

I've noticed my new year resolutions are going well. Not much Facebooking anymore ;) Next resolution was, somehow building an online .. something.. a working website that provided an online service of some kind. I figured with this much (but little and shallow!) knowledge I have so far there's got to be something I can do. I just have to spend a couple of full days on it and decide on something and get it done. No jumping around this idea and that idea.. suggestions are welcome :)

Well well things are working out, one by one! Just had my presentation today, and it went quite well. It will probably be a while till I give another one. I still get nervous before the talks. Can't believe, after soooo many years, after so many presentations, still??? I guess some things never changes. I should try preparing my slides and getting them done at least two days before the talk. But how many times do I tell myself this and don't do it?? :/
Soooo.. I also found the house for my next year, which is a huge "phew".. It's a good place, in the same building as two of my best friends. It's not as light as my current unit, but it's not too dark and I'll pay around $200 less a month. Think about it! That means I can spend a couple of days in San Diego every two months :P (FYI I travel a LOT!! All my savings go toward traveling! There's few places in the USA that I haven't visited.. .several places -NYC!!!-I've traveled to, 3 times already! :P) Can't wait to live in LA for next fall. Internship! At a great great place, doing awesome research :) Should be exciting, and hopefully I'll have time to go to all places around the west :)
Today after I guess like a month of not "wasting a time" (i.e. not going home simply without a big to-do list) after my presentation at 4:30pm I decided to simply "waste" the next few hours after so long. Went home, opened the windows (awesome day it was! Great rejuvenating breeze that nourished life of every form!), while listening to birds singing, got in bed and took a looong nap! muuuh finally!!! this half an hour of nap gave me more energy than the whole last night's sleep. :) I wish I had more times like this! will this lifestyle that I've chosen give me any chances? Recently I've been thinking, maybe for someone who likes nature and outdoors and traveling so much, maybe I chose the wrong area? Maybe if I'd become a biologist who has to travel to far islands and study something, .. would have suited me better?... too late now though! I like my field too it's just really frustrating sometimes and I get the feeling maybe I'm not the best person for this...
wow look, it's already 10pm. In a great day like this I was going to COOK! Maybe I can still do that. ttyl!

I'm kind of tired today. Even though I slept till 10!
My mom and dad called from home at noon, and I was kind of snappy. Not really snappy, but definitely not my usual happy self. And they are used to hearing me excited. I think my down-ness might have contaminated them too. I hope not though, but you can always tell how your conversation affects your mom and dad..

I have too much to do these days, and too little time. I get distracted a lot. Maybe I should skip my friend's birthday tonight? Or maybe not, I haven't been with some of my friends in ages. And then again I have to design final questions for the class I'm TA-ing, by tomorrow, and the thesis work which is in a stuck kind of situation needs a lot of thinking and reading and coding, and the presentation for Tuesday, and cleaning the house and laundry, and calling my other friend who's sick on the other side of the world, and her family too...
Dear world, slow down please!!

I have been reading Sophie's World for a while now. I can't get enough of history and philosophy! Part of the reason is that I believe, in order to make a lasting democracy in a region, we should get down to the basics and understand what it takes, in a particular society, to get people interested in having freedom and taking responsibility for it, once they get it.

What does it have to do with Sophie's World then?

Well, a lot! 

Sophie's World is a wonderful book that is actually part of the high school curriculum now, and includes a simplified version of history of Western philosophy. I have had many exposure to the Eastern philosophy, but many things about the western side, I still don't know. Way too many things! It's great to read what was a society was like, before it became educated and responsible and all the good things that grew out of it. 

well, gotta go now. ..

.. ok it's now 1:30am and I am back to here, edditing the left-out draft! (The line above was for 7pm-ish!)

I just want to rewrite something interesting I JUST saw a friend share on Facebook:

"happy ages have no philosophy"

Something to look up and think about! Not about what I read, but about why I'm interested in philosophy right now..

My mom is going to visit me in the US!

After almost 4 years I'll get to see my mom. The only little bitter thing is, my dad was not given the visa with her. Stupid government did they really think my dad would stay there and not go back?! If you never knew what kind of news can make you incredibly happy and also incredibly sad, you know it now..

But god, I'm already imagining my mom's trip and my, it's gonna be FUN! :D What an exciting summer :)

Omar Khayyam and you

Back to writing hopefully daily this time! I'll try to spend a few minutes everyday to write. There MUST be something incredibly interesting happening every day, otherwise what life would that be?!
Soooo, yeah Omar Khayyam, I was thinking about him recently. A Persian poet, mathematician and astrologist. His famous Roba'iyaat poetry book... one of my favorites of alllll Persian poetry.. talks about basically these two lines:

1)
Some are thoughtful on their way
Some are doubtful, so they pray.
I hear the hidden voice that may
Shout, "Both  paths lead astray."

2)

Khayam, if you are intoxicated with wine, enjoy!

If you are seated with a lover of thine, enjoy!
In the end, the Void the whole world employ
Imagine thou art not, while waiting in line, enjoy!

He spoke my thoughts. I know that taking life easy and enjoying the moment is the best path, and it does not mean to be lazy or indifferent. You get rid of the unnecessary burden, free your mind to follow your passion and your passion only, and believe me you get far, when you're passionate about what you're doing! In face Khayyam's passion was poetry and math too, (if you don't see the relationship between poetry and math, think again!). He studied and marveled at the stars, and tried to learn the order behind the chaos, just like you find order and music in words when writing poems.. He was the inventor of Solar Persian Calendar(Jalali Calendar), which at the time was a big project. I love how a calm and happy mind who did not worry about leaving behind a name for himself, ended up exactly doing that on the side, creating something that at least in Iran we use every day.. our Calendar. 

Narges! (talking to myself!) Get rid of the bonds you often imprison your mind in. Stick to your passion and the rest will take care of themselves! What is your passion though? I think you already have some ideas.. define it! if you're not sure, seek it! If you don't have your passion, finding it is THE most important task you have right now.. it takes time and effort, but you remember how beautiful those moments are, when you find that FIRE within you... Good luck! :)